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Why you should work at building a sibling bond between your children?
How exactly do you go about it?
These steps have helped my older children accept their new sibling. In fact they are all very close. Please don't get me wrong, we aren't the Waltons... as they get older they do bicker, and squabble. But as the saying goes, when push comes to shove, they stand together strong and will look out for each other.
Here I will go through the steps I took to make sure that each of my child accepted our latest baby.
In the long term having your older children accept the latest addition to your family, will make your life easier.
For us, this started as soon as we wanted to announce the pregnancy.
In fact the first people we told were the siblings.
Our reasoning was quite simple, "it's never to early" to start the sibling bond. After all, do you really want them to over hear the news as you tell your friends or family? How would you feel if you found out like that?
These steps will help with start the sibling bond between your children...
We have found that all of these steps interested the older ones in what was going on. At no point (even in anger), have they shown any animosity to the baby.
There are three main points that I found helped preparing our older children for the arrival of the baby. These are...
Finding out the sex of the baby, has meant that the "bump" is a 'person' to the child. It allowed us to talk to the children about baby names, feelings, as well as the physical getting ready for the arrival.
We involved the children in the decisions that were to be made. This included...
This activity encourages acceptance of the unborn child. It allows your children time to create the elbow room that they have to share the other main things in their lives, such Mom & Dad, Toys, and possibly a bedroom.
Asking the child (yes even a toddler), what they would like to do for baby. Even getting them to sort out their toys that they think would be acceptable for the baby.
You need to re-affirm to them that they still have a place in your life. You never want them to think that they have been "replaced".
The build up to the arrival of our youngest child was quite traumatic.
I did not have the best of pregnancy's. This has meant that I had to go to hospital early.
Under the care of the specialist it was agreed that we would deliver, Victoria, early by caesarian section. She would just have turned 37 weeks.
Fortunately, Victoria arrived safely on April 23, 2013. However, it was some 2/3 days later that we were able to introduce Elizabeth, our eldest to her little sister, Victoria.
Both my son and daughter melted at the sight of their tiny sister. Watching their initial reaction to the small, helpless child, my mind was put instantly to rest.
They had accepted her and it wasn't long before it was clear to see that they doted on her.
As a parent it's important that you help the children build their relationship.
The easiest thing in the world for me to advise is Do not favor one over the other - but this is no picnic to execute. In fact I would say it is a lot easier said than it is to do. So how to do you not fall into that trap, while trying to get sleep, school runs, homework projects, dinner, and the housework done?
My tips for helping your children build their relationship are as follows...
Remember that family's and their members are unique.
Keeping things simple will make life easier for all concerned. This should ensure that happiness prevails in your household.