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marriage proposal etiquette

I need marriage proposal etiquette?  

Well, there are a lot of things to look at before you pop that vital question.  Here we are taking a look at what you should consider before you ask...

These three points, with positive outcomes, will mean you are prepared to ask your partner.  

Being prepared is step one, planning the proposal is your next step...

marriage proposal etiquette - discussing marriage

Official photo Jenny & TimJust after we were married!

One event that usually happens in a relationship is that night. 

The night where you are sat up talking, you discuss anything, everything, even this big question.  Marriage, it is not for everyone, all depending on the time in their lives.

Why would you wish to discuss marriage before proposing?  Well, if you are in this place, where you wish to spend the rest of your lives with your partner, you need to know that they are in that place too.  No one likes being turned down.  

So making sure that your partner is as ready as you are, should mean you will receive the favourable answer!  How would you know...

  • Does your partner include you their future plans?
  • Do you share interests with work, or hobbies?
  • Is your partner interested in your past times.
  • Do you want the same things, such as kids, stability, travelling, money, career?
  • Is your partner honest/trustworthy

Now if you haven't had that night, may be you will - but just may be you won't.  As long as you know your partner's feelings about marriage, then you are at least prepared.

marriage proposal etiquette - the engagement ring

The big question here is whether this is going to be a surprise or not.

If you are not surprising your partner, the you may wish to discuss the following...

  • Style of ring
  • Stones, diamonds are good, but does your partner want an alternative or mix?
  • Your budget
  • Size, some big rings look gorgeous, but perhaps they aren't the most practical.

If have never looked at rings, it may be pertinent to take a shopping trip before you have this talk.  You'll then know what sort of thing you are talking about! 

If you are not surprising your intended, then once you've asked the question, you can go shopping. 

Want to get the ring first, but your not sure on the style?

Here are some options you can consider...

  1. Purchase the stone, and book an appointment with the Jeweller to discuss the setting.
  2. Ask the Jeweller if the ring can be returned/exchanged.
  3. Ask your partner using a 'fun' imitation engagement ring.

If you are confident that you know your partner's style, then go for it and purchase that ring!

marriage proposal etiquette - asking parents

Our families were altogether socially, when they found out about our engagement. 

In fact, we didn't blurt it out, but I sat quietly at the table joining in the conversation with our Mums.  It was quite humourous when they asked what was with my hand. 

Their faces were a picture, as it took them all by surprise... after all we had only been officially dating for 6 weeks!

Proposing marriage is one of those stories that will be recounted to friends, family and your children (if planned!).

The best marriage proposal etiquette is asking her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage.  It is one of the most traditional steps, even if it isn't always observed these days.

Depending on how you wish to propose may decide on how and if you do this.

For Tim and I, Tim had proposed at our home in Milton Keynes.   It perhaps wasn't the most romantic proposal but it was special for us. 

Apparently he had decided a few days earlier that he wished to propose, but as he was house sitting he wasn't able to ask my Dad.   He's quite a traditional guy, and wanted to make sure that my Dad was asked. 

This meant returning to our Home Village which we did the next day - it's not really a conversation you have over the phone, now is it!  We headed straight for my parent's house, but no-one was home.

As it happens, my parents were with Tim's family in the local public house.  My Dad doesn't miss a trick, and saw my ring before anyone else.  He gave his approval by nodding at Tim, and I got the biggest hug ever. 

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