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Father of the Bride Duties

Father of the bride duties because your little girl is getting married!  

As the news settles in, it dawns on you of the duties you need to do.

Not sure where to start?  Don't worry we're here to help.

So to stop the feeling of dread here is what we are going to cover...

May be this seems daunting to you.  Make sure you talk over these feelings over with your significant other.  

wedding finances

A sensitive subject, traditionally the Father of the Bride was to finance the Wedding Breakfast and the Reception.  

This isn't always the case these days, and you should discuss with your daughter and her betrothed, to understand their expectations.  Be honest too about your budget and expectations, I'm sure your daughter doesn't want you knee deep in debt.

father of the bride duties - logistics

Logistically some of the Father of the bride duties will be fundamental things such as...

Keeping Mum calm.  Making sure she doesn't get too stressed about the day, events.  Likewise making sure she doesn't interfere when it is not welcomed.  She only wants to help, I know that, but sometimes mother's can be very overbearing!

Perhaps you are no longer with the Mother of the bride.  Not an easy situation, but focus on the fact that you and any new partner of the mother of the bride, should have one thing in common.  The happiness of your daughter. 

My advice would be to ask your daughter what she wants, especially when it comes to walking her down the aisle.  She may well be conflicted, especially if her Mum's partner has featured more prominently as the father figure in her life.  

You will need to be understanding.  You may have to share this role on the day.

Entertaining the arrivals on the Wedding Day - I really appreciated my Dad doing this on my day.  He knew the timetable of events, when people should be arriving, and he took over.  Making sure that my hair and make-up ladies were in the right places, and had their needs.  The Bridesmaid and Page Boys parents had drinks, that the children were entertained.  When the photographer and videographer showed up (I had forgotten to tell him this!) he took it in his stride and kept them in check.  

My Mum spent the day with me, making sure all was going smoothly with me, and Dad looked after the rest of the house.  It worked seamlessly.

Escorting the bride to the Church - it may not be the Church but to the venue.  When all the hubbub has gone from the house, it is just you and Dad.  For me, reality hit.  I didn't panic, but was close to it.  My Dad was my rock.  He didn't hurry me, just listened, and when I was ready we went down to the car.  That mile journey to the Church felt like a lifetime, one of the most precious journeys I've ever taken.

When you get to the venue, you will need to be in the arrival photos, and do make sure that your daughter's dress is right.  That it isn't kinked where it shouldn't be. 

walking down the aisle

My father-in-law on our Wedding Day.

Now in public, you are showing your daughter off to the world as you walk her to the venue and then down the aisle.

It is wise to walk at the wedding pace (step on the odd numbers when counting if you are not sure!).  Perhaps more importantly walk at the pace of your daughter, let her enjoy that limelight.

At the end of the aisle, you will be met by her betrothed and the marriage official.  

You have one important line...

Official: Who here gives this woman in holy matrimony?

You: I do.

As you do this, you will be physically handing your daughter's hand to her betrothed.  If she is wearing a veil, you can unveil your daughter.

Now you need to head back to the pews, and sit with Mother of the Bride.

Signing the Register

You will need to escort the Bride and Groom through to the Register.  Where you will need to sign.  Remember to have a pen on hand, just in case.

Walking back down the aisle

This time, as you leave the Register, you should escort the Mother of the Groom.  This is symbolic of the families joining in the union of the children that have just been married.  

You will likely be sat next to the Mother of the Groom at the reception too, depending on the seating plan.  If you have not met before, this could be awkward.  I would recommend making sure that this is not the first time you have met!

father of the bride duties - the speech

Need help?

Perhaps the speech is really too daunting.  Click here to see this tool to help you write your speech.

Alternatively these books may help...

Father of the bride duties includes this one highlight, that I think most dread... the speech. 

If you are not a public speaker, then this can be seen as an ordeal.  How long should the speech be, what should you include?  What if you are over-emotional?

Well first, don't worry.  In it's simplest terms it memorable or amusing events that you have of your daughter.  Now that's not so bad is it?

As a highlight, you should have these 4 elements in your speech...

  1. Thank the guests for coming to share in the special day.   Make sure you thank the people that were involved in contributing to the wedding.
  2. Now put in your memorable/amusing stories about your daughter growing up.
  3. Next you should welcome the groom into your family.  
  4. To end with, you must toast the bride and groom!

Then sit back down, and relax.  Your father of the bride duties are nearly over...

father daughter dance

Two left feet?  Then well before the wedding, arrange for some dance lessons.  Include your daughter, if you wish to put on a show!  

The perfect opportunity to congratulate your daughter, the bride, on her day and her choice.  Make sure it's a song that you know, and there will still be camera's pointed at you, so you should really still be suited.

father of the bride duties over...

When the day draws to a close, your duties are expelled.  You can sit back, relax and look with joy and happiness I hope at the couple's special day.

I would recommend a favorite tipple, you've done well Sir!

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